I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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