I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
