I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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