Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
