I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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