i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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