It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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