even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
