I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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