Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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