That's intense
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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