This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You've changed since you got that strap on
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
