Already got asked if we're dating
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
