i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Did we literally take a cab across the street
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
