Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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