I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
