I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She's the barista slut.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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