Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
