just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He did a backflip because drugs
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
