Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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