Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Bring me that man meat
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
