Fine. I'll sleep in my office
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
