One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
