goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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