Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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