I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
