? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
