i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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