so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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