Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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