i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
