Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
