If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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