some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
