College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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