Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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