Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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