are you still at the devil's house?
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
