Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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