How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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