what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
