vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
