Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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