I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
