Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Alive.
So much puke
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
