I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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