:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
