Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
They took my balls.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
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