It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
