final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
