Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
