It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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