my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
