nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
