What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
