yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
