I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize