Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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