You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
