Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize
